Tag Archive: God

Aaaah! What am i doing here? What am i meant to do? How do i get the most out of this? How do I ensure I don’t miss out on what God has planned?

Driven, striving, anxious…

A trip to New Wine or Spring Harvest suits me, a over full programme so i can go like a dry sponge and soak up as much as possible…and probably overtire myself and get ill.

Here I have to embrace the calm, the peace, to be not to do. No schedule, just an awareness of God and an openness to His leading. Here I have to ‘learn to float’….



I’m ordinary.

But God sent his son down to earth to die for me…

So He could stand in my place, take all my sin upon him, die on a cross and create a way for me to know and be known by the Father…

So I could be filled by His Holy Spirit…

And take ordinary me and make me extraordinary…

So he can work in my life to do ‘More than I could ever ask or imagine‘.

So he can use me, His MASTERPIECE (no longer ordinary) to do good works that He planned before I was even born…

So that although I may look like a clay jar, there is treasure hidden within me…

So I can carry the God colours and God flavours into the world.

So that I carry the fragrance of Christ to the dead and dying…

So He can take His amazing God story, and my story becomes a couple of pages in His book, in the missing pages between the end of the New Testament Letter and the Book of Revelation.

Thank you Father God for taking my ordinary life and making it significant and extraordinary. Help us to write our pages in your big story. Amen


He’s not just any dad…

He’s the dad that created the heavens and the earth, day and night, who designed each kind of living thing, who flung stars into space and has counted every grain of sand ever made.

He’s not just any dad…

He saw me before I was born, he knit me together in my mother’s womb, he knows my past, my present and my future, for he has ordained every day of my life.

He’s not just any dad…

He rejoices over me with singing, he looks down and says, ‘I am good’, he says, ‘this is my child with whom I am well pleased’ and he says all these things before I’ve even got out of bed to do anything.

He’s not just any dad…

He sees me when I go down to the depths; he sees every tear I cry. He also sees me on the mountain top, when I’m dancing and jumping for joy.

He’s not just any dad…

He sees our scratched knees, our long term illnesses and the pain inside that no one else sees. He doesn’t just see, he can heal us completely, inside and out.

He’s not just any dad…

But he knew that we needed dads with skin on. Ones who could sit us on their knee, give us a hug and a kiss, play with us, advise us, and create with us. And so today we thank our amazing perfect heavenly dad for sending each one of us a dad, and we ask him to help them become more and more like him. Amen.


(This was my Kids Slot for Father’s day 2012 and so I’m sharing it here to mark Fathers day 2013, unfortunately dear blog reader you can only read the words, and not see the whole performance. Apparently I needn’t have worried about the lack of interaction, the kids were spellbound.)

Healing training day.

Today I went to a training day about healing through Christian prayer.I don’t think I learnt anything new, but it was great to pray for others, see people healed and get prayed for.

However as someone who has always had chronic health conditions it has left me disappointed with God. Why doesn’t he heal me? I’m not even asking to be healed of complicated emotional illness – depression, just the easy physical conditions – eczema, hay fever, asthma, allergies. Why doesn’t he hear me. Am I invisible to Him? Why do I get to pray for others, but when people pray for me nothing happens, usually I don’t feel a thing. 

Don’t get me wrong, I believe God heals. I believe we should pray for people to be healed regardless of the results we see. I believe we should pray for healing in the church, but also in the workplace, the street, the school gate, the cafe and pub. I hear stories of healing and know them to be true. I see people being healing in front of me at Christian events. But why does he heal them…but not me. 

Perhaps I don’t have enough faith…disappointment at nothing happening before errodes my faith, not that he has the power to heal me, just that he doesn’t want to heal me. A normal, everyday nobody. Perhaps he heals everyday nobodies, but me, well he just doesn’t seem to see me. 

Perhaps its that deeply hidden sin, blocking my healing. That’s right, heap more shame on me, a nobody, alone, invisible, useless….but now I digress as I allow the tapes lead me to a pity party.

Perhaps I’m scared of being healed, losing my crutch, my identity, maybe I actually don’t really want to be healed, so God doesn’t.

I know we’re in the now and not yet. I know that in heaven there will be no more sickness, but what about my reality now. I know my atopy isn’t that big a deal or debilitating…but do you know what a hassle putting creams on daily is?

I’m fed up of praying for others, giving someone a word of encouragement, hearing God for others (and myself). If only the whole body was at work, ministering to each other. 

So I ask you to play your part in the body, so us active parts, don’t get worn out, tired and discouraged.

And God – to you I ask – WHY?

I know its Sunday, but I’m inspired to join Lisa Jo Baker for the first time and write on the word Brave.

Brave. For me to be brave, I would share my struggles with depression publically, not just in places where I can be anonymous. Like a sunflower that stands tall and shines, yet at its centre you glimpse the darkness within. I live with depression. I’ve been so unwell I couldn’t work.Now back in the workplace, I’ve had to leave my profession and work for less money. I’ve had to trust God still has a plan for my life. Holding tight to Jeremiah 29:11 and Romans 8:28. But only some people even glimpse the surface of my story, my struggle.  Today I found that the Archbishop of Canterbury’s daughter did an interview about her struggle with depression. She was brave where I couldn’t be. So today I shared her interview on Facebook and wrote the words “I recommend highly this interview by the daughter of the Archbishop of Canterbury. Like her I too have depression, and I can identify with much of her experience; the faithfulness of God, how precious friends are and the benefit of routine.” It is the first step. For only as we step out bravely to share our struggles with depression, will others find encouragement and the stigma of mental illness be broken in society and in the church.


If I was to describe my week at Harnhill...or something God seemed to show me in a word…then the word would be LAVISH!!

How LAVISH is the love the Father showers on us, that we should be called the children of God, for that is what we are ~ paraphrased from the bible as writing it from memory(!)

How LAVISH is God’s love for me, his provision, his grace, his mercy, his forgiveness, his care, his beauty,

How LAVISH was healing week…breakfast in bed each day, two people there just to listen to your story and pray it through with you, not being allowed to serve – even by clearing the table, not being allowed to give – to pray for others – this was a week to receive, a beautiful garden, lambs being born in the barn next door, 2 book shops on site, a ‘thin space’, the beauty of watching and hearing the birds, a wood burning fire, a place of safety and refuge.

Ill in bed

Today I was ill, the sore throat had got worse and my body was exhausted fighting the infection. Yet its a miracle to have so few, mild symptoms when only 6 months ago a cold would lay me up in bed for a week!! 

Is it God, or is it the aromatherapy course of treatment I had, 6 weeks of weekly aromatherapy massage. And even if it is the aromatherapy, who says that doesn’t still point to God, both as healer, creator and guide. After all he invented the essential oils, he led me to a therapist with the skills and I am his daughter and he wants me to live life to the full, life in abundance. 

I don’t believe God heals everyone, perhaps I lack faith due to life experience, but I know God can heal in all situations, and he can use the supernatural or natural, conventional medicine or complimentary therapies. We are called to trust him, and pray in all circumstances, only he knows what answer we will get. But if we do not ask, then how can we get?

What are your beliefs about healing?