At the end of July I have the privilege of taking part in the Essence school of worship and mission run by Movement in Worship.

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I’ve wanted to connect with Movement in Worship for years. I did a worship and mission taster weekend a couple of years ago. In fact 10 years ago I applied to do their discipleship training course. I was accepted, but my dad said if I went, I wasn’t allowed to return home. I couldn’t make myself homeless. Yet now I can draw a line under that and forgive that. I have applied to do discipleship training course this year and looking back, now is the timing, not 10 years ago. 10 years ago I hadn’t survived, workplace bullying, performance management, depression, redundancy, burn out. Now I can do discipleship training course as a wounded healer. Often I have had a sense of God saying there was “healing in the dance”. At essence I found dance removing my masks, getting to the hidden stuff, leaving me in a snotty tearful mess in God’s presence,  undone, open to his love and healing. I see this timing of doing discipleship training course part of my healing from the rubbish 10 years I’ve had.

As I met God in my snotty tearful mess, I reflected on the unfairness of a previous department writing me a bad reference and therefore losing me a job. In my view this was even worse as the person who wrote it was a christian! But then I remembered that soon after I felt God say he didn’t want me to be an Allied Health Professional anymore.

So actually both examples seemed unfair at the time…yet looking back…they just supported God’s timing for these things to happen. I can forgive both and move on, knowing God has the road map, he has plans for me and they’re plans to give me a future!!

 

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